Black Women

[Koffy Brown]

Are we being pimped? I already know that we've been exploited but pimped...are black women becoming the "in thing" now? I am speaking primarily about other races...is it cool to have a "dark skinned, big booty" sistah on your arm? Is it the videos, rap songs, advertisements that make us sought after or is it the misconception that we are these freaky, sexual hungry/starving promiscuous whores that will do anything for money that make us hot and sought after...just asking...or am I in my own little world again and misinterpreting everyone else?

[RX]

we are pimping ourselves the best way we know how...

[ May 06, 2003, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: Ms Rickey X ]

[Skip Intro]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
Are we being pimped? I already know that we've been exploited but pimped...are black women becoming the "in thing" now? I am speaking primarily about other races...is it cool to have a "dark skinned, big booty" sistah on your arm? Is it the videos, rap songs, advertisements that make us sought after or is it the misconception that we are these freaky, sexual hungry/starving promiscuous whores that will do anything for money that make us hot and sought after...just asking...or am I in my own little world again and misinterpreting everyone else? I have had black women on my arm many times and it has never been cool or the in thing. I have gotten into shit from all races over it. It's always been love with me. I can't speak for what others are thinking.

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
we are pimping ourselves the best way we know how... can you explain a little...pimping ourselves the best way we know how...

[RX]

absolutely no one holds guns up to the heads of halle berry, vivica fox, videos whores, etc...

they are pimping themselves just like brothers are pimping themselves and they know it...

by the way, it doesn't take wisdom to make it as a video whore or any other televised whore for that matter...and we all know that wisdom is rare these days...

[ May 06, 2003, 11:51 AM: Message edited by: Ms Rickey X ]

[Koffy Brown]

This is not a thread to begin about love has no color, love whomever, blah blah blah...we've covered that here I know...DHP is ideal for We are the world...we are cool with that...I'm just asking primarily due to personal experiences...nothing more nothing less...so please do not bring all the rightousness to a thread that wasn't meant to be taken that way...

[Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand]

We do it to ourselves and allow others to profit from it. Some think it's sexy to be liberated, free and exploited. If we are ugly or non-attractive and smart then we are respected, because we have nothing else but that. God forbid if we are smart, sexy and very nice looking. We are then called Bit**es.

I was the pretty one or don't let her do that she can't. I was never taken seriously with all of my experience, background or education until I start standing up to the big wigs and having my say. Then they realized I was not someone to be reckoned with.

[ May 06, 2003, 11:53 AM: Message edited by: DiscoLady ]

[RX]

Originally posted by Mykhal:
I have had black women on my arm many times and it has never been cool or the in thing. I have gotten into shit from all races over it. It's always been love with me. I can't speak for what others are thinking. that's awfully kind and i'm much obliged to read that response :D :D but i think you may have missed the point...

[RX]

Originally posted by DiscoLady:
God forbid if we are smart, sexy and very nice looking. We are then called Bit**es. or star jones... graemlins/rofl.gif

[Koffy Brown]

I've noticed that a lot of white men and men of other races are becoming very blatant and forward in approaching Black women and I was wondering if, this is due to the attention that we have been given from the media (rather negative or positive) or is it something that has always been there but never explored...or is it a trend or a fad...this whole interracial thing...just asking...

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
I've noticed that a lot of white men and men of other races are becoming very blatant and forward in approaching Black women and I was wondering if, this is due to the attention that we have been given from the media (rather negative or positive) or is it something that has always been there but never explored...or is it a trend or a fad...this whole interracial thing...just asking... The secret is out. Sister are the BOMB!!

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
I've noticed that a lot of white men and men of other races are becoming very blatant and forward in approaching Black women and I was wondering if, this is due to the attention that we have been given from the media (rather negative or positive) or is it something that has always been there but never explored...or is it a trend or a fad...this whole interracial thing...just asking... The secret is out. Sister are the BOMB!! </font>[/QUOTE]Agreed!! biggrinangel.gif ....so now everybody wants to know what the hush hush was about...huh?

[Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand]

Ashaki, I beleive for the first time these other men are tearing down the once forbidden taboo. They are no longer afraid to date outside their race and may not care anymore. As I stated in the other thread about Black women going thru things with their own men, some of us just may be tired and going outside the race as well. So it may be a two way street.

[The Buddy Love Show]

for more insight check out the dark brothers classic.."let me tell ya about black chicks"

[RX]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
I've noticed that a lot of white men and men of other races are becoming very blatant and forward in approaching Black women and I was wondering if, this is due to the attention that we have been given from the media (rather negative or positive) or is it something that has always been there but never explored...or is it a trend or a fad...this whole interracial thing...just asking... funny you mentioned that...i was just having this discussion with my man...white men have always been aggressive towards black women, mmost notably in the workplace, but it's always been a clandestine approach as they wouldn't want to appear like their forefathers...however, just like the 2 live crew made it okay to have video whores and strippers on stage, we've made ourselves so delectable that no one looks stupid wanting to "do" us anymore...

after all, men are men and puthy is puthy...

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
after all, men are men and puthy is puthy... I strongly disagree...

[RX]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
after all, men are men and puthy is puthy... I strongly disagree... </font>[/QUOTE]you're right - some men are gay...

[ngeso]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
Are we being pimped? I already know that we've been exploited but pimped...are black women becoming the "in thing" now? I am speaking primarily about other races...is it cool to have a "dark skinned, big booty" sistah on your arm? Is it the videos, rap songs, advertisements that make us sought after or is it the misconception that we are these freaky, sexual hungry/starving promiscuous whores that will do anything for money that make us hot and sought after...just asking...or am I in my own little world again and misinterpreting everyone else? i don't get it.

a couple of months ago you voiced some severe issues with BM/WF-relationships. now it's BF/non-BM-pairings. is it that outlandish a thought that two people could meet, be interested in one another, build a committed relationship..... - okay - they happen to be different colours, but all the rest of it is in order..... - without there being any kind of controversy or conspiracy behind it all?

peace. ngeso.

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
I've noticed that a lot of white men and men of other races are becoming very blatant and forward in approaching Black women and I was wondering if, this is due to the attention that we have been given from the media (rather negative or positive) or is it something that has always been there but never explored...or is it a trend or a fad...this whole interracial thing...just asking... funny you mentioned that...i was just having this discussion with my man...white men have always been aggressive towards black women, mmost notably in the workplace, but it's always been a clandestine approach as they wouldn't want to appear like their forefathers...however, just like the 2 live crew made it okay to have video whores and strippers on stage, we've made ourselves so delectable that no one looks stupid wanting to "do" us anymore...

after all, men are men and puthy is puthy... </font>[/QUOTE]Good point...this is tripping me out...last saturday when I went out dancing, I had to litterally tell the security guy to keep this white man off of my back, everytime I turned around he was invading a sisters space...so after that, I noticed him up in the dj booth harrassing the dj (beautiful sistah)..I know he had been drinking but damn...then later on, this fool, scared the shit out of me cause he stared and finally worked up the nerve to come and speak and then he wouldn't leave and I'm like what the ****...

another instance was this white man that literrally begged me to talk to him and I'm like dude you are harrassing me, and he's like your the best dancer, and your beautiful and I want you to dance with my wife...I'm like, I know I ain't know video whore look a like, where did he come off with this shit...it's bugging me out...

but outside of a club experience I have noticed the aggressiveness toward black women from men of other races...

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by ngeso:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
Are we being pimped? I already know that we've been exploited but pimped...are black women becoming the "in thing" now? I am speaking primarily about other races...is it cool to have a "dark skinned, big booty" sistah on your arm? Is it the videos, rap songs, advertisements that make us sought after or is it the misconception that we are these freaky, sexual hungry/starving promiscuous whores that will do anything for money that make us hot and sought after...just asking...or am I in my own little world again and misinterpreting everyone else? i don't get it.

a couple of months ago you voiced some severe issues with BM/WF-relationships. now it's BF/non-BM-pairings. is it that outlandish a thought that two people could meet, be interested in one another, build a committed relationship..... - okay - they happen to be different colours, but all the rest of it is in order..... - without there being any kind of controversy or conspiracy behind it all?

peace. ngeso. </font>[/QUOTE]you missed the whole point as I knew you and others would...

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
after all, men are men and puthy is puthy... I strongly disagree... </font>[/QUOTE]you're right - some men are gay... </font>[/QUOTE]Crawling back from whence I came... graemlins/jpshakehead.gif graemlins/rofl.gif

[ngeso]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by ngeso:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
Are we being pimped? I already know that we've been exploited but pimped...are black women becoming the "in thing" now? I am speaking primarily about other races...is it cool to have a "dark skinned, big booty" sistah on your arm? Is it the videos, rap songs, advertisements that make us sought after or is it the misconception that we are these freaky, sexual hungry/starving promiscuous whores that will do anything for money that make us hot and sought after...just asking...or am I in my own little world again and misinterpreting everyone else? i don't get it.

a couple of months ago you voiced some severe issues with BM/WF-relationships. now it's BF/non-BM-pairings. is it that outlandish a thought that two people could meet, be interested in one another, build a committed relationship..... - okay - they happen to be different colours, but all the rest of it is in order..... - without there being any kind of controversy or conspiracy behind it all?

peace. ngeso. </font>[/QUOTE]you missed the whole point as I knew you and others would... </font>[/QUOTE]oh i don't think so at all.

[RX]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
but outside of a club experience I have noticed the aggressiveness toward black women from men of other races... ...and we DO come off as "easy", right? i mean, we are no longer portrayed to have that head-rolling attitude or even the "if-you-step-to-me-on-some-shyt-i-have-knowledge-to-make-you-fold" attitude...as long as a man has power, money, fame or a big dyck, it seems like we'll always be down for a lil' sumpthin'...

everyone's picking up on it, but what's REALLY something is that white women have ALWAYS been portrayed as money-hungry, gold-diggers which is why, at one time, they were all up in the videos (and wedding processions) of our more famous brothers...

[RX]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
after all, men are men and puthy is puthy... I strongly disagree... </font>[/QUOTE]you're right - some men are gay... </font>[/QUOTE]Crawling back from whence I came... graemlins/jpshakehead.gif graemlins/rofl.gif </font>[/QUOTE]awwwww, sweetie...i still love you... graemlins/remybussi.gif graemlins/1luvu.gif

[Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand]

Ashaki, I've always been hit on by men of any race. Which confused me because I thought i was too fair for most white men and too yellow for most black men. I too was harrassed by a white guy in a club, he wanted to keep his hand on my butt. He kept asking if he could feel it later at his house. He stated that he was interested in knowing what was the hype about black women, my heart stopped and I told him a few words and he left me alone of course. But he was attractive and didn't have to go there. He would have been a decent person if he wasn't so crazy.

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
Are we being pimped? I already know that we've been exploited but pimped...are black women becoming the "in thing" now? I am speaking primarily about other races...is it cool to have a "dark skinned, big booty" sistah on your arm? Is it the videos, rap songs, advertisements that make us sought after or is it the misconception that we are these freaky, sexual hungry/starving promiscuous whores that will do anything for money that make us hot and sought after...just asking...or am I in my own little world again and misinterpreting everyone else? Black women have always been the in thing.....at first it was the(50s to 70s) "high yellow" stage.... now the darker shaded women is "the thing" now....media plays alot into it.......

Also you find alot of women(non black) turn in to "Ice Queens" and many men turn to black women for salvation.

Also alot of black women are Ice Queens to black men and go all out to men outside there race.....

[Wild i]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
[QUOTE]Good point...this is tripping me out...last saturday when I went out dancing, I had to litterally tell the security guy to keep this white man off of my back, everytime I turned around he was invading a sisters space...so after that, I noticed him up in the dj booth harrassing the dj (beautiful sistah)..I know he had been drinking but damn...then later on, this fool, scared the shit out of me cause he stared and finally worked up the nerve to come and speak and then he wouldn't leave and I'm like what the ****...

another instance was this white man that literrally begged me to talk to him and I'm like dude you are harrassing me, and he's like your the best dancer, and your beautiful and I want you to dance with my wife...I'm like, I know I ain't know video whore look a like, where did he come off with this shit...it's bugging me out...

but outside of a club experience I have noticed the aggressiveness toward black women from men of other races... Have you considered the possibility that you are, yourself, very attractive to caucasian men. I know that sounds a little far fetched, but I think some sisters are just the type many white men fantasize about when the fantasize about black women.

This possibility first came to my attention when my best friend, who is by all accounts, a very fine, sexy and classy lady who usually has to beat men off with a stick, told me that she is not attractive to gay women.

At first I thought that was ridiculous. I mean, if you're cute, you're cute, right? Then I noticed that we'd go places together and she'd have to carry man repellant to get anything accomplished, but we'd go to the Village on gay pride day and she wouldn't even get a nod.

So maybe you're just a white man's fantasy.

[Skip Intro]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
[/qb]Good point...this is tripping me out...last saturday when I went out dancing, I had to litterally tell the security guy to keep this white man off of my back, everytime I turned around he was invading a sisters space...so after that, I noticed him up in the dj booth harrassing the dj (beautiful sistah)..I know he had been drinking but damn...then later on, this fool, scared the shit out of me cause he stared and finally worked up the nerve to come and speak and then he wouldn't leave and I'm like what the ****...

another instance was this white man that literrally begged me to talk to him and I'm like dude you are harrassing me, and he's like your the best dancer, and your beautiful and I want you to dance with my wife...I'm like, I know I ain't know video whore look a like, where did he come off with this shit...it's bugging me out...

but outside of a club experience I have noticed the aggressiveness toward black women from men of other races... [/QB][/QUOTE]


Aren't you just a magnet? Doesn't every woman have club stories like this envolving knuckleheads of all races?

[RX]

Originally posted by DJ JM3:
Also alot of black women are Ice Queens to black men and go all out to men outside there race..... [/b]not true and never will be...if it weren't for us staying with you brothers, our race would be demolished...there has been and will always be more brothers going outside of their race and, ususally, it's for a stupid reasons blaming black women for being "ice queens"...if that is not the reason, then the brothers need to stop being defensive and using that lame excuse...

[ May 06, 2003, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: Ms Rickey X ]

[The Buddy Love Show]

i've said it once and i'll say it again


WHERE'S DA WHITE WUMMIN????

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Ashaki, I've always been hit on by men of any race. Which confused me because I thought i was too fair for most white men and too yellow for most black men. I too was harrassed by a white guy in a club, he wanted to keep his hand on my butt. He kept asking if he could feel it later at his house. He stated that he was interested in knowing what was the hype about black women, my heart stopped and I told him a few words and he left me alone of course. But he was attractive and didn't have to go there. He would have been a decent person if he wasn't so crazy. So MsX do you think it's more a sense of easiness or taboo? thanks for your honesty graemlins/rofl.gif

Disco, this man was a nut too...I'm like dude, please give me some breathing space...and he was attractive as well graemlins/rofl.gif graemlins/rofl.gif

[RX]

ms. ashaki...trust me when i say that the white power structure (run by white men) are trying to break taboos...hell, if it weren't for those taboos, they wouldn't be in power...

they are free to grab our asses in public and not just behind closed doors...it's the easiness...

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DJ JM3:
Also alot of black women are Ice Queens to black men and go all out to men outside there race..... not true and never will be...if it weren't for us staying with you brothers, our race would be demolished...there has been and will always be more brothers going outside of their race and, ususally, it's for a stupid reasons blaming black women for being "ice queens"...if that is not the reason, then the brothers need to stop being defensive and using that lame excuse... [/b]</font>[/QUOTE]Ahhhh MsX why did you go there...see un un...I wasn't trying to go here with it...please let's not go here with it...begging graemlins/rofl.gif

[The Buddy Love Show]

i know i'm offensive but isn't it nice to be wanted?

i've had gay, straight, white, black, latino, men and women attracted to me and i've always been flattered

if only geese would be more freindly..i mean ya ever see how they asses move when they walk?

ooooooohhh

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
not true and never will be...if it weren't for us staying with you brothers, our race would be demolished...there has been and will always be more brothers going outside of their race and, ususally, it's for a stupid reasons blaming black women for being "ice queens"...if that is not the reason, then the brothers need to stop being defensive and using that lame excuse... Im NOT talking relationship wise...I mainly talking sexually(2 different issues)..........Rickey you know you are are rare breed...... there are very few woman like you. You mean what you say and say what you mean......

[The Buddy Love Show]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DJ JM3:
Also alot of black women are Ice Queens to black men and go all out to men outside there race..... not true and never will be...if it weren't for us staying with you brothers, our race would be demolished...there has been and will always be more brothers going outside of their race and, ususally, it's for a stupid reasons blaming black women for being "ice queens"...if that is not the reason, then the brothers need to stop being defensive and using that lame excuse... [/b]</font>[/QUOTE]difference is men are ****ing and women are marrying

but so what

as for sisters holding up the race...maybe in THIS country with its high proportion of weak blacks ( the infestation of niggers) but as a race?.....come back to us now

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
... Ahhhh MsX why did you go there...see un un...I wasn't trying to go here with it...please let's not go here with it...begging graemlins/rofl.gif I expect that from her..and I love her for it.....She can go anywhere she likes with what she says... I dont date out my race. So it dont apply to me......I just state fact......
Besides I have options.........I think outside the box...........

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
difference is men are ****ing and women are marrying

but so what

as for sisters holding up the race...maybe in THIS country with its high proportion of weak blacks ( the infestation of niggers) but as a race?.....come back to us now They are holding it up alright.......alternative relationships and man sharing are at a all time high...........

[The Buddy Love Show]

as far as dating outside the race...Dennis Hopper said it best in Blue Velvet


sorrrrrrrrttttttttttttttt " i wanna ****!..i'll **** anything that moves"

"Mommy"

"MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!"

[The Buddy Love Show]

Originally posted by DJ JM3:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
difference is men are ****ing and women are marrying

but so what

as for sisters holding up the race...maybe in THIS country with its high proportion of weak blacks ( the infestation of niggers) but as a race?.....come back to us now They are holding it up alright.......alternative relationships and man sharing are at a all time high........... </font>[/QUOTE]man Sharing?...i'm being cheated...wheres my extra black broads...i demand a recount

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
difference is men are ****ing and women are marrying

but so what

as for sisters holding up the race...maybe in THIS country with its high proportion of weak blacks ( the infestation of niggers) but as a race?.....come back to us now So friggin true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are women brought up to get married and have babies rather then get a career first, a man second?

This isn't Leave it to Beaver. One thing that urks me to this day is how weak and dependant many women are and men eat that crap up. Then on the other hand there are alot of weak and dependant brothas who have to have a girl on their side 24/7.

What's the need in loving another when you can't even love yourself?

And we wonder where Jerry Springer finds these people. It's really simple.

Peace

[The Buddy Love Show]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
difference is men are ****ing and women are marrying

but so what

as for sisters holding up the race...maybe in THIS country with its high proportion of weak blacks ( the infestation of niggers) but as a race?.....come back to us now So friggin true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are women brought up to get married and have babies rather then get a career first, a man second?

This isn't Leave it to Beaver. One thing that urks me to this day is how weak and dependant many women are and men eat that crap up. Then on the other hand there are alot of weak and dependant brothas who have to have a girl on their side 24/7.

What's the need in loving another when you can't even love yourself?

And we wonder where Jerry Springer finds these people. It's really simple.

Peace </font>[/QUOTE]Leave it to Beaver....but leave the Beaver to me

[TAC]

Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
man Sharing?...i'm being cheated...wheres my extra black broads...i demand a recount BWAAAAAHHHHHHHHH... . Not these ugly ducklings in NY, anyway.

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
man Sharing?...i'm being cheated...wheres my extra black broads...i demand a recount Where have you been? It goes on all the time....Not just in the black community.....Hell you can go in the military and find that action......

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by TAC:
BWAAAAAHHHHHHHHH... . Not these ugly ducklings in NY, anyway. Try the dirty south........and all over for that matter........

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DJ JM3:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by your idol, Buddy Love:
difference is men are ****ing and women are marrying

but so what

as for sisters holding up the race...maybe in THIS country with its high proportion of weak blacks ( the infestation of niggers) but as a race?.....come back to us now They are holding it up alright.......alternative relationships and man sharing are at a all time high........... </font>[/QUOTE]man Sharing?...i'm being cheated...wheres my extra black broads...i demand a recount </font>[/QUOTE]the votes are final...no extra black BROADS for you...omy goodness :rolleyes:

[GROOVE VICTIM]

OHh please, not these ghetto ass chicks down here. For one, you can barely understand what in d hail they are saying. Two, they have attitudes up the colon, three, they broke as hell, four, where two condoms, 5, take 3 showers, 6, watch some looney toons to stop yourself from saying "I can't believe I boinked that broad", 7 go to bed and wake up to another day.

Peace

[DJJM3.COM]

Well I really stirred it up in here, didnt I...........LOL icon_rofl.gif biggrinangel.gif

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
OHh please, not these ghetto ass chicks down here. For one, you can barely understand what in d hail they are saying. Two, they have attitudes up the colon, three, they broke as hell, four, where two condoms, 5, take 3 showers, 6, watch some looney toons to stop yourself from saying "I can't believe I boinked that broad", 7 go to bed and wake up to another day.

Peace Try sipping "cran and Belvadere......"

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
OHh please, not these ghetto ass chicks down here. For one, you can barely understand what in d hail they are saying. Two, they have attitudes up the colon, three, they broke as hell, four, where two condoms, 5, take 3 showers, 6, watch some looney toons to stop yourself from saying "I can't believe I boinked that broad", 7 go to bed and wake up to another day.

Peace Bubba Sparxx love'm...

You may be missing a diamond in a haystack ...

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Why bother. YOu take a girl out for a walk on the beach in Savannah and the only intersting thing she has to say is, "Ya know, mah beh frayand got pregnant on this beach, then she had her baby on this beach".

It's enough to make you want to go find some Mad Dawg 2020 but I don't get down like that anymore.

Peace

[Friday]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
Why are women brought up to get married and have babies rather then get a career first, a man second?This question has boggled my mind for years. I too was brought up this way but it never served me any purpose. I didn't want children early, the men I dated weren't the ones that I wanted to settle down with.
I don't know....we are all products of past generations. We have pick up their ideals, prejudices and what may have you. It takes a lot of courage to break from the mold and strick out on your own. Not from someone else's dogma or past traditions......jmho

[RX]

well, brothers, if theses sisters that you speak of had their fathers at home, they wouldn't be so "_________", now would they?

[The Buddy Love Show]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
well, brothers, if theses sisters that you speak of had their fathers at home, they wouldn't be so "_________", now would they? or a father in their life

we see eye to eye here

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
well, brothers, if theses sisters that you speak of had their fathers at home, they wouldn't be so "_________", now would they? Alot of em did......and spoiled rotten.......maybe if they didnt.......

[MYOR]

Ms Ashaki you come u come up with interesting questions..

I think you may be noticing this alot more now cuz interracial dating is not as taboo as it used to be...

[Koffy Brown]

As far as black women being raised to marry first over a career...it's historical, black women or women for the most part haven't always had the option to have careers, I think this way of thinking is decreasing especially among Black women, being that we are the last to marry. Alot of this is due to the fact that we are choosing secondary education and careers first...

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
As far as black women being raised to marry first over a career...it's historical, black women or women for the most part haven't always had the option to have careers, I think this way of thinking is decreasing especially among Black women, being that we are the last to marry. Alot of this is due to the fact that we are choosing secondary education and careers first... This isn't just happening in the black community. There are alot of white and latino women in this region of the country that fall into this catagory. The perception of a women being the bread maker in her household while married can be rather threatening to men. What also bothers me around here is how fast and early these kids get married. Then they end up going to college and reality hits them when the wealth of the opposite sex and many minds from differents places on this planet hit them.

Our concept of marriage maybe the reason why there's such a high divorce rate in this country.
I've been "watchin" and "listening" to the Cosby show as of late and I admire The parents for their "not taking any BS as an excuse for not wanting to succeed" approach on how they raise their kids. If you really "watch" and "listen" to the shows, Cliff doesn't say much, but he damn sure gets the job done along with Clair.


Peace

[ May 06, 2003, 01:46 PM: Message edited by: GROOVE VICTIM ]

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
As far as black women being raised to marry first over a career...it's historical, black women or women for the most part haven't always had the option to have careers, I think this way of thinking is decreasing especially among Black women, being that we are the last to marry. Alot of this is due to the fact that we are choosing secondary education and careers first... This isn't just happening in the black community. There are alot of white and latino women in this region of the country that fall into this catagory. The perception of a women being the bread maker in her household while married can be rather threatening to men. What also bothers me around here is how fast and early these kids get married. Then they end up going to college and reality hits them when the wealth of the opposite sex and many minds from differents places on this planet hit them.

Our concept of marriage maybe the reason why there's such a high divorce rate in this country.
I've been "watchin" and "listening" to the Cosby show as of late and I admire The parents for their "not taking any BS as an excuse for not wanting to succeed" approach on how they raise their kids. If you really "watch" and "listen" to the shows, Cliff doesn't say much, but he damn sure gets the job done along with Clair.


Peace </font>[/QUOTE]Hey Groove, I said women for the most part...women haven't always had the options that they do now....mindset is definitely changing in regards to marriage before schooling and career...

[RX]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
As far as black women being raised to marry first over a career...it's historical, black women or women for the most part haven't always had the option to have careers, I think this way of thinking is decreasing especially among Black women, being that we are the last to marry. Alot of this is due to the fact that we are choosing secondary education and careers first... This isn't just happening in the black community. </font>[/QUOTE]YOU KIDDIN' ME, RIGHT???
groove...you are waaaaaaaayyyyyy wrong in thinking this is not so....waaaaaaayyyyyyy wrong...maybe in your "progressive" family this is not applicable, but this mindset still resides in many of our homes - mind you, you are not in those homes to witness this because most men aren't...

[TAC]

Originally posted by DJ JM3:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
BWAAAAAHHHHHHHHH... . Not these ugly ducklings in NY, anyway. Try the dirty south........and all over for that matter........ </font>[/QUOTE]THE SOUTH BRO, I know how dey do...

[MYOR]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
As far as black women being raised to marry first over a career...

This isn't just happening in the black community. There are alot of white and latino women in this region of the country that fall into this catagory. </font>[/QUOTE]This is very true I'm latina.. at this point my uncles thinks I'm lesbian cuz I'm 33 single and no children...

The other thing is that I don't think b/4 we were encouraged to do much... as long as you had some kind of job... I think this is slowly changing w/more and more minorities becoming professionals..

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
As far as black women being raised to marry first over a career...it's historical, black women or women for the most part haven't always had the option to have careers, I think this way of thinking is decreasing especially among Black women, being that we are the last to marry. Alot of this is due to the fact that we are choosing secondary education and careers first... This isn't just happening in the black community. </font>[/QUOTE]YOU KIDDIN' ME, RIGHT???
groove...you are waaaaaaaayyyyyy wrong in thinking this is not so....waaaaaaayyyyyyy wrong...maybe in your "progressive" family this is not applicable, but this mindset still resides in many of our homes - mind you, you are not in those homes to witness this because most men aren't... </font>[/QUOTE]Maybe you need to come down here and witness the southern lifestyle for yourself.

Just as many people were shocked to hear about segregated proms a few days ago, there are still some old and dated traditions, men concquering women being one of them, that have yet to fall.

When you have the ability to see from the outside as I possess, you will see things much clearer as compared to someone who was born and raised down here with no outside influence as to what to do with their lives when they are adults.

My "progressive" lifestyle, and that goes for alot of women and people of color who live down here, is a threat to the good ole boy network. As it was rather easy for me and other implants to start a new life and make a decent living down here, it's rather hard for many people who were born and raised here. Do you think it's fair when Bessy fresh out of highschool gets a 7 dollar an hour job at a local bank, when Sista Jane is fresh out of college or a techical school with a degree or diploma and the skills she posses don't mean a damn thing because, "Well, uhhh Bessy's is my sisters neighbors daugher". C'mon now!!

It's my progressive attitude that's keeping me and many well to do women and people of color rising on that latter of success.

Peace

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:

Our concept of marriage maybe the reason why there's such a high divorce rate in this country.
I've been "watchin" and "listening" to the Cosby show as of late and I admire The parents for their "not taking any BS as an excuse for not wanting to succeed" approach on how they raise their kids. If you really "watch" and "listen" to the shows, Cliff doesn't say much, but he damn sure gets the job done along with Clair.
Peace All jokes aside now.......
The reason for a high divorce rate is not a education or lack education. When racism was a bigger problem we had to rely on each other. Strongly knit family ties was key in survival.

The reason for a high divorce rate is no one is accustom to suffering.....when times are good and the sun shines its easy to stay together. When the storms come that is the real test. No one wants to stick things out and get thru the trails and tribulations of life...........

[RX]

I AM so SORRY, GROOVE...I MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN...please forgive me and i owe you a bikini-clad car wash...

(i secretly just wanted to see you fight - lookin' like a chocolate sugar ray leonard... graemlins/1luvu.gif )

[ May 06, 2003, 02:16 PM: Message edited by: Ms Rickey X ]

[GROOVE VICTIM]

If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".

That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another.

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
I AM so SORRY, GROOVE...I MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN...please forgive me and i owe you a bikini-clad car wash...

(i secretly just wanted to see you fight - lookin' like a chocolate sugar ray leonard... graemlins/1luvu.gif ) See, now you're gonna make me fall for that, (Damn I'd love to see this!!!!).


hail.gif graemlins/grinyes.gif graemlins/remybussi.gif

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".

That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another. Do most people know how to love period? Unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who will live and leave this life without experiencing true love....so therefore you can't expect some to truly love...rather it's themselves or others...they are doing what they consider to be love...rather it's right or wrong, it's what they associate with love...

[RX]

THE REASON FOR THE HIGH DIVORCE RATE IS THE ABSENCE OF DOWRIES AND RITES OF PASSAGES...

if yo ass had to pay $$$$$ and cut your nuts/nipples to marry, you wouldn't be so quick to throw it away...

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".

That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another. Do most people know how to love period?... Unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who will live and leave this life without experiencing true love....so therefore you can't expect some to truly love...rather it's themselves or others...they are doing what they consider to be love...rather it's right or wrong, it's what they associate with love... </font>[/QUOTE]A deep statement, but to get love one has to be truly open to receive love. And to do so means to expose oneself to the risk of pain, i.e., being/getting hurt.

As humans, "we" are afraid of being hurt. Once a person is able to get past the fear of being hurt, only then can they truly love and experience love, period.

But then again, don't you think there are different types of love?

[RX]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".
that's right, groove...all we really need is great sex, good times, neutral ground and no egos...

[MYOR]

Divore rate is high because woman just don't have to deal with as much BS as before.. Basically you had no way out, so you dealt w/cheatin, beating, abusive men .. now fortunetly woman can walk away from that more easily...

[TAC]

Originally posted by MYOR:
Divore rate is high because woman just don't have to deal with as much BS as before.. Basically you had no way out, so you dealt w/cheatin, beating, abusive men .. now fortunetly woman can walk away from that more easily... But then again, some do not because of FEAR...

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".
That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another. Well for one, people dont think that what they do can't be undone with out major consequence. I have heard that statement but that is big stretch(the love statement)to use it for what you did......

Pregancy well use a condom...... and my first paragraph applys here too.....

Love yourself is a improper statement. KNOW yourself before you love another......

[MYOR]

[/qb][/QUOTE]But then again, some do not because of FEAR... [/QB][/QUOTE]


Yes FEAR still keeps woman in bad marriages but b/4 it was fear, lack of jobs, lack of education, lack of resources.. now this is not the case.. Yes some still stay b/c of fear.. but alot of the other variables are gone...

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".
that's right, groove...all we really need is great sex, good times, neutral ground and no egos... </font>[/QUOTE]graemlins/beerchug.gif

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".

That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another. Do most people know how to love period?... Unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who will live and leave this life without experiencing true love....so therefore you can't expect some to truly love...rather it's themselves or others...they are doing what they consider to be love...rather it's right or wrong, it's what they associate with love... </font>[/QUOTE]A deep statement, but to get love one has to be truly open to receive love. And to do so means to expose oneself to the risk of pain, i.e., being/getting hurt.

As humans, "we" are afraid of being hurt. Once a person is able to get past the fear of being hurt, only then can they truly love and experience love, period.

But then again, don't you think there are different types of love? </font>[/QUOTE]Ohhh TAC don't be trying to get all deep on me...

Absolutely there are different types of love...but my concept of love is that there is a foundation ...you love your kids differently than you love your spouse...we would give our lives for our children out of pure unconditional love and I feel like you should do the same for your spouse...the foundation for any type of love should be unconditional...

[GROOVE VICTIM]

love = dependancy in most cases

The moment you bring spirituality into the same party as nature, all hell will break loose. Nature always wins.

Peace

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by MYOR:
Divore rate is high because woman just don't have to deal with as much BS as before.. Basically you had no way out, so you dealt w/cheatin, beating, abusive men .. now fortunetly woman can walk away from that more easily... That can go both ways..........Men AND women can be abusive...did you see Ashaki's "This is so sad" post? Women cheat as well.....

Somewhat bias point of view, dont you think?

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
love = dependancy in most cases

The moment you bring spirituality into the same party as nature, all hell will break loose. Nature always wins.

Peace It should...I should be able to depend on a man that I claim to love and he claim to love me....

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by DJ JM3:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
Divore rate is high because woman just don't have to deal with as much BS as before.. Basically you had no way out, so you dealt w/cheatin, beating, abusive men .. now fortunetly woman can walk away from that more easily... That can go both ways..........Men AND women can be abusive...did you see Ashaki's "This is so sad" post? Women cheat as well.....

Somewhat bias point of view, dont you think? </font>[/QUOTE]It may be biased, but when you here the horror stories of latina women being controlled by their men, then you can understand what Myor was talking about. It's about control.

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by Ashaki:


It should...I should be able to depend on a man that I claim to love and he claim to love me.... [/QB][/QUOTE]


Why depend when you can control?

[RX]

i doubt if even 1% of married folk even know what love is..."love" is not taught properly and the term is vague and encompasses lots of other emotions that makes you feel good inside...


if we had to go through a mental, physical, financial and spiritual obstacle course to get married, not many would do it...the same goes for having children - the fact is, if it's too easy to do and only costs $20, you can be damn sure heads will follow...

[MYOR]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DJ JM3:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
Divore rate is high because woman just don't have to deal with as much BS as before.. Basically you had no way out, so you dealt w/cheatin, beating, abusive men .. now fortunetly woman can walk away from that more easily... That can go both ways..........Men AND women can be abusive...did you see Ashaki's "This is so sad" post? Women cheat as well.....

Somewhat bias point of view, dont you think? </font>[/QUOTE]It may be biased, but when you here the horror stories of latina women being controlled by their men, then you can understand what Myor was talking about. It's about control. </font>[/QUOTE]It is very bias but I'm not even discussing about today in age.. I'm talking about the past... and before woman weren't able to leave abusive relationship so easily.... men have had that easier since B/4 they were the only bread winners.

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
It may be biased, but when you here the horror stories of latina women being controlled by their men, then you can understand what Myor was talking about. It's about control. That happens across the board. No racial/ethnic boundaries are present in that and other aspects of life..........

I have also heard that latin men and women are very family oriented, also there are cases that they are abusive.........

Dont switch to race-it happens all over...still biased no matter how you serve it.........

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
i doubt if even 1% of married folk even know what love is..."love" is not taught properly and the term is vague and encompasses lots of other emotions that makes you feel good inside...


if we had to go through a mental, physical, financial and spiritual obstacle course to get married, not many would do it...the same goes for having children - the fact is, if it's too easy to do and only costs $20, you can be damn sure heads will follow... You know you my soul sista forreal right...

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".

That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another. Do most people know how to love period?... Unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who will live and leave this life without experiencing true love....so therefore you can't expect some to truly love...rather it's themselves or others...they are doing what they consider to be love...rather it's right or wrong, it's what they associate with love... </font>[/QUOTE]A deep statement, but to get love one has to be truly open to receive love. And to do so means to expose oneself to the risk of pain, i.e., being/getting hurt.

As humans, "we" are afraid of being hurt. Once a person is able to get past the fear of being hurt, only then can they truly love and experience love, period.

But then again, don't you think there are different types of love? </font>[/QUOTE]Ohhh TAC don't be trying to get all deep on me...

Absolutely there are different types of love...but my concept of love is that there is a foundation ...you love your kids differently than you love your spouse...we would give our lives for our children out of pure unconditional love and I feel like you should do the same for your spouse...the foundation for any type of love should be unconditional... </font>[/QUOTE]We can go as deep as you want to. The question is can you follow me? :D

Now, we are getting somewhere. The unconditional component is what it is about. This is the way we love our children, and this is the way that "we" as adults each want to be loved. But to get that, we must love our S/O's blindly (unconditionally), no matter what. We must accept them regardless of their faults. Now "we" know as life goes on, "we" pick up scars, and become jaded. As a result, loving someone blindly (unconditionally) has taught us that such a thing is foolish. This is the rub! Again, taking it full circle, how do we get that unconditional love. To get the unconditional love, we have to love unconditionally. Uhmm...

Who here can say that they can love another person (i.e., a mate) without wanting anything in return? Personally, I know I can't. After all, we all have our expectations. (Hold the expectations. That's a whole other topic).

Peace
TAC

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ms Rickey X:
i doubt if even 1% of married folk even know what love is..."love" is not taught properly and the term is vague and encompasses lots of other emotions that makes you feel good inside...


if we had to go through a mental, physical, financial and spiritual obstacle course to get married, not many would do it...the same goes for having children - the fact is, if it's too easy to do and only costs $20, you can be damn sure heads will follow... This is a true statement; spoekn like a married person. Do the people actually realize that love also encompasses hate?

On our end, we laugh when we hear people talking about they are about to get married because in our heads we're saying they don't have a clue. Their eyes are so bright and sparkling like freaking Bambi about to get slaughtered.

I've got friends that are working on second and third marriages. We laugh because in truth, they are chasing themselves.

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".

That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another. Do most people know how to love period?... Unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who will live and leave this life without experiencing true love....so therefore you can't expect some to truly love...rather it's themselves or others...they are doing what they consider to be love...rather it's right or wrong, it's what they associate with love... </font>[/QUOTE]A deep statement, but to get love one has to be truly open to receive love. And to do so means to expose oneself to the risk of pain, i.e., being/getting hurt.

As humans, "we" are afraid of being hurt. Once a person is able to get past the fear of being hurt, only then can they truly love and experience love, period.

But then again, don't you think there are different types of love? </font>[/QUOTE]Ohhh TAC don't be trying to get all deep on me...

Absolutely there are different types of love...but my concept of love is that there is a foundation ...you love your kids differently than you love your spouse...we would give our lives for our children out of pure unconditional love and I feel like you should do the same for your spouse...the foundation for any type of love should be unconditional... </font>[/QUOTE]We can go as deep as you want to. The question is can you follow me? :D

Now, we are getting somewhere. The unconditional component is what it is about. This is the way we love our children, and this is the way that "we" as adults each want to be loved. But to get that, we must love our S/O's blindly (unconditionally), no matter what. We must accept them regardless of their faults. Now "we" know as life goes on, "we" pick up scars, and become jaded. As a result, loving someone blindly (unconditionally) has taught us that such a thing is foolish. This is the rub! Again, taking it full circle, how do we get that unconditional love. To get the unconditional love, we have to love unconditionally. Uhmm...

Who here can say that they can love another person (i.e., a mate) without wanting anything in return? Personally, I know I can't. After all, we all have our expectations. (Hold the expectations. That's a whole other topic).

Peace
TAC </font>[/QUOTE]Oh no you didn't!! You got deep on me!! You got realllll deep on me!! but I'm still with you...

See my thing about expectations and love is a little different...meaning I think that if you love me, the way that I think I should be loved which is by the way unconditional then there are certain things you will and won't do...now the problem probably lies within self...just lil small shit I need to get over and let go...see i need to regroup and come back...give me a minute...I usually don't need to take a break... biggrinangel.gif

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
If people are not accustomed to suffering, then why do people have a mindstate of "When you have someone to love "you" that's all I need to get by".

That's one of the reasons why we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate, unwed mothers and fathers, people getting married for all the wrong reasons, people getting divorsed for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself before you love another. Do most people know how to love period?... Unfortunately I think there are a lot of people who will live and leave this life without experiencing true love....so therefore you can't expect some to truly love...rather it's themselves or others...they are doing what they consider to be love...rather it's right or wrong, it's what they associate with love... </font>[/QUOTE]A deep statement, but to get love one has to be truly open to receive love. And to do so means to expose oneself to the risk of pain, i.e., being/getting hurt.

As humans, "we" are afraid of being hurt. Once a person is able to get past the fear of being hurt, only then can they truly love and experience love, period.

But then again, don't you think there are different types of love? </font>[/QUOTE]Ohhh TAC don't be trying to get all deep on me...

Absolutely there are different types of love...but my concept of love is that there is a foundation ...you love your kids differently than you love your spouse...we would give our lives for our children out of pure unconditional love and I feel like you should do the same for your spouse...the foundation for any type of love should be unconditional... </font>[/QUOTE]We can go as deep as you want to. The question is can you follow me? :D

Now, we are getting somewhere. The unconditional component is what it is about. This is the way we love our children, and this is the way that "we" as adults each want to be loved. But to get that, we must love our S/O's blindly (unconditionally), no matter what. We must accept them regardless of their faults. Now "we" know as life goes on, "we" pick up scars, and become jaded. As a result, loving someone blindly (unconditionally) has taught us that such a thing is foolish. This is the rub! Again, taking it full circle, how do we get that unconditional love. To get the unconditional love, we have to love unconditionally. Uhmm...

Who here can say that they can love another person (i.e., a mate) without wanting anything in return? Personally, I know I can't. After all, we all have our expectations. (Hold the expectations. That's a whole other topic).

Peace
TAC </font>[/QUOTE][snip...]then there are certain things you will and won't do...now the problem probably lies within self...</font>[/QUOTE]Sorry...this is the expectations. People get divorced becasue of unmet expectations. Nothing more, nothing less. I thought when I got married, blah...blah...blah...

Come to terms with your expectations, and you'll be alright. ;)

Peace
TAC

[Koffy Brown]

Damn TAC you are right...

so who sets the standard for love? If there is a standard...

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
Damn TAC you are right...

so who sets the standard for love? If there is a standard... Jesus

[GROOVE VICTIM]

EXACTLY TAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's why people's standards drop down to just " I just want somebody with a job". You gotta put work in too!!!

Peace

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
Damn TAC you are right...

so who sets the standard for love? If there is a standard... Jesus </font>[/QUOTE]I'm not going to make a big fuss out of this because of my beliefs but can some type of standards be found in the Bible...I'mma do some research on this tonight...

Now I know I'mma catch grief but do you think standards are different for different races...

[Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand]

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years and were together 2 years before we were married. We both knew what we were in for, of course we had our rough times, we lived through each others' selfish phases, outside friends, bad financial troubles, and we have children (that work the nerve on a dead person graemlins/rofl.gif ). I believe that what we have been through together only love brought us out.

I've tried to leave and end our marriage but of all people my grandma put some sense in my head, She said "if he ain't beating you, cheating on you, disrespecting you, he is taking care of the bills and the children, you can get through whatever phase you are going throug". She also told me that if she knew more about relationships and the men in her life she would have kept her first husband.

I believe that marriages don't work these days because of our own selfishness and everyone is talking but not listening. So the quickest way out is divorce.

[DJJM3.COM]

Originally posted by TAC:
Sorry...this is the expectations. People get divorced becasue of unmet expectations. Nothing more, nothing less. I thought when I got married, blah...blah...blah...

Come to terms with your expectations, and you'll be alright. ;)

Peace
TAC This goes back to what I said about KNOWing your self before you love another........

[MYOR]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
Damn TAC you are right...

so who sets the standard for love? If there is a standard... Jesus </font>[/QUOTE]I'm not going to make a big fuss out of this because of my beliefs but can some type of standards be found in the Bible...I'mma do some research on this tonight...

Now I know I'mma catch grief but do you think standards are different for different races... </font>[/QUOTE]I guess you can find anything in the bible just ask the KKK... graemlins/bolt.gif

Regarding the standards between race no... maybe between cultures...

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by Ashaki:


Now I know I'mma catch grief but do you think standards are different for different races... Not sure if this was directed towards TAC but I don't think race is an issue (to a certain extent).

How you are raised will predict how you will turn out in many cases.

If you're brought up with high standards for yourself, then one should expect their mate to have similar standards and beliefs.

If you're raised to depend on someone and expect a prince charming to rise from the swamp and sweep you off of your feet, then good hunting.

If men are raised to respect people, especially women, not fall for any BS put in front of them, stand up for themselves, then maybe he will attract a women that likes what she sees in him.

Peace

[TAC]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
"I just want somebody with a job".I'm probably talking in absolutes here, but again even what you've set forth is a condition tied to an expectation. What happens when you meet someone and they have job, but they then lose that job?

Life is a F*cking b*tch. Its all a freaking head trip.

[mhd]

i thought only frogs were in the swamp

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
"I just want somebody with a job".I'm probably talking in absolutes here, but again even what you've set forth is a condition tied to an expectation. What happens when you meet someone and they have job, but they then lose that job?

</font>[/QUOTE]I ask females the same question around here. What if he's only makin 4.50 an hour, what if he looses that job, what if........

"Well as long as he's a christian man, he's alright with me".

[TAC]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
Damn TAC you are right...

so who sets the standard for love? If there is a standard... Jesus </font>[/QUOTE]I'm not going to make a big fuss out of this because of my beliefs but can some type of standards be found in the Bible...I'mma do some research on this tonight...

Now I know I'mma catch grief but do you think standards are different for different races... </font>[/QUOTE]Yas and no. The bible lays out the principles for good clean living.

Race is the surface. Underneath it's mankind, so how can the standards differ.

[MYOR]

Originally posted by TAC:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
"I just want somebody with a job".I'm probably talking in absolutes here, but again even what you've set forth is a condition tied to an expectation. What happens when you meet someone and they have job, but they then lose that job?

Life is a F*cking b*tch. Its all a freaking head trip. </font>[/QUOTE]The funny thing about expectations is that they always seem to increase/Change no matter how low or high you have them... He/she has a job.... only if they had a better job....so forth and so on... graemlins/conf44.gif

[ May 06, 2003, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: MYOR ]

[RX]

ms. ashaki, lady...you know how me and you do... graemlins/thumbsup.gif

imagine a life without expectations...do you realize how free you'd be? expectations are extremely unnecessary and can almost everytime lead to disappointment and false feelings of security...

standards, on the other hand, are essential...if one were to write 10 standards they must have in a potential spouse and start a checklist with each potential - not skipping any and not going to #2 if they don't have #3 - they'd be alright...mind you, one would have to also be what they require their potential spouse to be as well...

[ May 06, 2003, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: Ms Rickey X ]

[Discogoddess]

Originally posted by DiscoLady:
My husband and I have been married for almost ten years and were together 2 years before we were married. We both knew what we were in for, of course we had our rough times, we lived through each others' selfish phases, outside friends, bad financial troubles, and we have children (that work the nerve on a dead person graemlins/rofl.gif ). I believe that what we have been through together only love brought us out.

I've tried to leave and end our marriage but of all people my grandma put some sense in my head, She said "if he ain't beating you, cheating on you, disrespecting you, he is taking care of the bills and the children, you can get through whatever phase you are going throug". She also told me that if she knew more about relationships and the men in her life she would have kept her first husband.

I believe that marriages don't work these days because of our own selfishness and everyone is talking but not listening. So the quickest way out is divorce. @DiscoLady: THANK YOU FOR STATING THIS! Sometimes, we don't know how our personal sharing/testimony touches others...and you certainly touched me (a young married sista be "goin' thru" thangs!).

[Mah'chew]

Damn, I thought for sure they'd be a phone number on this thread!

[nev m]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
Are we being pimped? I already know that we've been exploited but pimped...are black women becoming the "in thing" now? I am speaking primarily about other races...is it cool to have a "dark skinned, big booty" sistah on your arm? Is it the videos, rap songs, advertisements that make us sought after or is it the misconception that we are these freaky, sexual hungry/starving promiscuous whores that will do anything for money that make us hot and sought after...just asking...or am I in my own little world again and misinterpreting everyone else? Hey Ashaki! Sistah came upto me, and has been making me so happy ever since.Me a pimp? heehee! Hell no!! It would never have happend had she not eventually come upto me! I'd put her on 12ft pedastal from the moment I met her!!

Peace.

[ May 07, 2003, 08:59 AM: Message edited by: nev m ]

[martino]

Originally posted by Mathius:
Damn, I thought for sure they'd be a phone number on this thread! graemlins/rofl.gif hahaha!
no kidding. enough with this lovey dovey stuff, i want to read more stories about those insane white men hitting on black women, i mean thats just crazy talk! biggrinangel.gif

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by martino:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mathius:
Damn, I thought for sure they'd be a phone number on this thread! graemlins/rofl.gif hahaha!
no kidding. enough with this lovey dovey stuff, i want to read more stories about those insane white men hitting on black women, i mean thats just crazy talk! biggrinangel.gif </font>[/QUOTE]What's crazy talk!! the psycho white man that you(I) had to get security to get them to leave you(me) alone....or the one that snuck up behind me while I was in a zone getting my groove on and as soon as I opened my eyes, his big white bald head was staring me in the face...I literally jumped out of my black skin and left it there on the dance floor... then he had the nerve to put his hand out to shake mine and introduce himself... graemlins/rofl.gif is this the story your speaking of...